Tweet If You're Happy

According to a Freeps headline:

UVM researchers seek key to happiness

One reads this and thinks, "Well, at least it will keep them out of the bars."

Then, down in the body of the story, we learn that

UVM researchers, computer scientist Chris Danforth and mathematician Peter Dodds, looked at 10 million blog sentences that began “I feel ... ” or “I am feeling ... .” They scored the words in the sentences, compiled averages, and looked for patterns, or mood swings — over the course of a year, say, or over the days of the week.

Uh, huh.  There is much to be said about blogs and one can learn a lot by reading and, even, studying some of them.  But the key to happiness? 

Blogs, it turns out, are not the end of the journey.  There are also tweets to be studied for insights into the nature of human happiness.  Seems Aristotle and Marcus Aurelius and Kant, and all the poets in all of time – up to now – were just groping around in a dark and primitive analog age waiting for the dawn of the digital enlightenment.

Tweets, of course, come packaged in their own special language and one way to understand it might be to read a document that has done as much to advance happiness as any written by the hand of man and translate it into tweet lingo.

Thus we get P.J. O'Rourke's Twittering the Constitution which includes such gems as

Cong power not = No habeas corp No x post facto law Free trade 4 Sts. Kings dukes for. poofters R bogus.

You can read the whole thing here.  It may not make you happy but it will probably make you laugh.