I received a piece of campaign literature constituent mailing from Representative Peter Welch this week, touting his concern for the middle class and his achievements over the past year. But what really interested me was the tear off (my stamp required) where I am supposed to tell Rep. Welch my priorities.
It says
Rank the top three issues that would help you make ends meet:
My view of the list is probably not the same as Rep. Welch. Here is how I translate them from political-speak to English:
1. Increasing access to affordable health care
Translation: Check this one if you are concerned that you may lose health care benefits if you lose your job. Or check it if you think health care costs are rising too fast. Don't worry, though, I have no idea how to slow the growth of health care costs without telling you that you can't have all the health care services you want, and someone else will continue to pay for them.
2. Ending government waste, fraud, and abuse
Translation: If you are a Republican, check this box and I'll take you off my mailing list.
3. Focusing on domestic priorities by ending the war in Iraq.
Translation: You want me to vote to end the war and spend that money on something else. Duh. Haven't you been listening to me for the past year?
4. Making fuel and energy more affordable.
Translation: I don't like paying $3.00 a gallon for gas either. But I want to reduce gasoline prices and, by the way, we're using too much fuel and killing Mother Earth. But don't worry, I'll give you cheap gas and somehow we'll figure out a way to force you to use less of it.
5. Creating jobs with better wages.
Translation: You want more money. So does everyone else. How do I get more for you without taking it from someone else? Can someone out there help me with this one?
6. Restoring fiscal responsibility.
Translation (a). (i) Reverse the Bush tax cuts but (ii) spend that money on other goodies. See 1, 3, 4, and 5, for example. Translation (b). You want me to only vote for spending increases when there is a dedicated revenue source See (a)(i) for how to do this.
7. Assuring a secure retirement
Translation: Check this one if you don't want me to do anything to insure the long run solvency of Social Security or change benefits for people in the future.
8. Lowering taxes for middle class families.
Translation (a): If you liked the Bush tax cuts but want those darned rich people to pay more of the bill, check this one. Translation (b): If you are upset about your property taxes, check this box and I'll let Governor Douglas, Senator Shumlin, and Speaker Symington know.
9. Making higher education more affordable.
Translation: You want me to spend more money on student grants (not loans) to middle income families, which will allow universities to continue to raise tuition since someone else will be paying your kids' tuition bill.
10. Other issue
Translation: Notice that this is a singular noun. I don't want you to give me a kitchen sink list. Do you think I can do everything?
"I am supposed to tell Rep. Welch my priorities"
Can I place my list here in this little box? EVERYONE in VT reads this -- right?
1- Return VT Yankke to its original state as an un-pressurized reactor. If Al-Entergy refuses -- arrest them and send them to Gitmo for some waterboarding.
2- Explain to the public that the FED -- via years of easy-cheap money has blown the biggest economic bubble in human history -- and that we will soon be calling the 1930s the good old days.
3- Raise the speed limits on I91 & I89 -- I can afford the gas.
4- Give all students a year off and invest the money that would have been spent on their education. release the trust fund when they are 21.
5- Let's stop all this talk about "retirement" -- it's a fantasy. You can't retire on asset inflation.
Posted by: Edward Charles Ponzi Jr. | January 06, 2008 at 03:48 PM